Project Life

Cut it out (aka I don't want to be mean)

2011-07-20T00:48:00.000+08:00

You should know I am extremely pissed. I've devoted countless tweets in purging myself of this self-contained wrath. Everything was on a harmonious path but you and your annoying music just had to be in the way.

For one, when people are studying (and are really serious about getting Theo concepts right), you never have the license to play your poorly-chosen song...in loudspeaker mode! At maximum volume! On a perpetual replay loop! And no, you should never sing along... while relentlessly beating on your wooden study table!

Never mind that the person next to you cannot ever concentrate on a Filipino reading unless he's in a completely silent environment. Never mind that the person behind you is nauseated by that overly popular song -- more so that he isn't a cultural conformist and likes his songs alternative-indie. Never mind that earphone usage is a fair compromise everyone else's willing to take. Never mind that in every single study time, people have reminded you (in an irking tone) that you can make History papers without everyone else hearing Rebecca Black replaying forever.

It's okay if it just happened once -- I distract and annoy people too. But when this becomes an unhealthy daily cycle, won't you ever care about the poor disposition of these people you call peers?

Because obviously you don't. Cura personalis? Compromise? Oh right. You don't bother anymore because you can't study Biology without "your" music. How about using earphones, then?

It's not just about a mere, one-time irritation anymore; it's about insensitivity, excessive individualism, and a friendship going downhill. I haven't blogged for months and such a personal crisis necessitates a written cathartic process. Or else, I might just hate Katy Perry forever.

I'm Slacking Off? Guilty.

2011-05-04T01:31:00.001+08:00

RULE 1

You can only say Guilty or Innocent.

RULE 2

You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks! (So people reading this, if you want an explanation.. comment.) - IM SORRY FOR BREAKING THIS ONE. I am too talkative, I know.

Asked someone to marry you?

INNOCENT

Kissed one of your Facebook friends?

GUILTY

Danced on a table in a bar?

INNOCENT

Ever told a lie?

GUILTY

Had feelings for someone whom you can't have back?

GUILTY

Ever kissed someone of the same sex?

INNOCENT

Kissed a picture?

GUILTY

Slept in until 5 PM?

GUILTY

Fallen asleep at work/school?

GUILTY

Held a snake?

INNOCENT

Been suspended from school?

INNOCENT

Worked at a fast food restaurant?

INNOCENT

Stole something from a store?

INNOCENT

Done something you regret?

GUILTY

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?

GUILTY

Caught a snowflake on your tongue?

INNOCENT

Kissed in the rain?

INNOCENT (The romantic side of moi believes this is the sweetest, most emotionally-packed form of PDA. And so I pray for one, someday.)

Sat on a roof top?

GUILTY

Kissed someone you shouldn't?

GUILTY

Sang in the shower?

GUILTY

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?

GUILTY

Shaved your head?

INNOCENT

Slept naked?

GUILTY

Had a boxing membership?

INNOCENT

Made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

INNOCENT

Been in a band?

INNOCENT

Shot a gun?

INNOCENT

Donated Blood?

INNOCENT

Eaten alligator meat?

INNOCENT

Eaten cheesecake?

GUILTY

Still love someone you shouldn't?

GUILTY

Have/had a tattoo?

INNOCENT (Unless you count the washable tattoo in my childhood playfulness)

Liked someone, but will never tell who?

GUILTY

Been too honest?

GUILTY

Ruined a surprise?

GUILTY (Aika's surprise)

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you cant walk afterwards?

GUILTY

Erased someone in your friends list?

GUILTY (If you did me a hell lot of wrong without any sense of repentance, you don't deserve your existence in my online and real life.)

Dressed in a woman's clothes (if your a guy) or man's clothes (if your a girl)?

GUILTY (They said I was a pretty Maria Clara)

Joined a pageant?

GUILTY (Master Montessori, circa 1999 aka Prep)

Been told that you're handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said?

GUILTY (Besides my family, actually yes.)

Had communication w/ your ex?

INNOCENT

DATING Someone?

Define Dating. Hahaha ha.

Get totally drunk one night and you have an important exam tomorrow morning?

GUILTY (Whattup, Physics finals! To be fair, I studied while drinking naman ah)

A total stranger treat you by paying your jeepney/tricycle fare?

INNOCENT

Get totally angry that you cried so hard?

GUILTY

Tried to stay away from someone for their own good?

INNOCENT (Actually no. I only stay away from someone if we're not close, or, if I'm awkward 'cause one of us did the other wrong)

Thought about suicide?

GUILTY (I even attempted it back when I was eleven and innocent. I thought holding one's breath, and turning all the lights in the room so they would explode, count as a suicide attempt.)

Thought about murder?

GUILTY (A lot of cathartic images of gore)

How bout mass murder?

INNOCENT

Tried illegal drugs and the like?

INNOCENT

Rode on a stranger's vehicle?

GUILTY

Stalked someone?

GUILTY (A lot of someone's, I tell you)

Been so drunk that you forget things that happened while you were intoxicated?

SEMI-INNOCENT (There are some *fateful* happenings that I forgot, though I still remember a lot of things.)

Had a girlfriend/boyfriend?

INNOCENT (Torpe kuno)

wish you were a kevin?

2011-02-23T23:55:00.000+08:00

Who am I kdding? Deep inside, I'm having my own high five moments.

No to plagiarism! I got this idea from Karla Manuales, who lives up to her name's defintion of being a great friend.

the nonexistence of vinmizon@yahoo.com

2011-02-05T03:12:00.007+08:00

In response to @ibetyourlove (Karla Manuales represent!), I shall discuss the etymology of ze trademark name.

3 or 4 years ago, an org-mate of mine named his cellphone photos in a non-boring way. Instead of photo### in his Nokia N95, he named it as something I can't remember.

Hooked to the idea, I felt the urge to do the same to my then N82 camera pics. Photo + cents (from magnificent) produces photocents. That didn't sound bad.

I got introduced to blogging by my good friend whose blog domain goes by with "elliknorr." Now that's a witty way of incorporating her name with a famous soy sauce brand.

So as I was making my blogspot account, I had to think of its title. I want my name to be literally in that domain. Then came the eureka moment. Why not mix the cents from photocents with my name? Cents just sounds good.

Vin + Cents = Vinnicents

I treat the whole idea as a masterpiece. It's one of the few creations that make me proud to be a creative Communication major. More so that majority of the people gave positive feedback to it. Sometimes, I'm nicknamed as such which can be flattering, really.

One last trivia. This blog entry shall explain to you why the following exists:

@vinnicents (sameless shelf plug)

www.vinnicents.tumblr.com (although I don't use this)

the bato bato sa langit thing

2011-02-05T02:35:00.004+08:00

Things I want to tell straight to your face but I can't because of obvious reasons. As a disclaimer though, this will sound angst-y and emo-ish. Forgive them because I have nowhere to release it but here. Thanks for the blogging world for concealing all identities. Blind items they may be, but who cares? I want it the cryptic, cathartic way anyway.

Human 1: I'm Mr. Brightside when it comes to you. I like you and I can't stand other people liking you. You may not be aware of this but I've been meaning to talk to you about all of this.

Human 2: You're easily the pinaka-malabo person I've liked. While sometimes it can be amusing, most of the time, it can be very confusing.

Human 3: Just so you know, if I'm gonna get married (asa), you're going to be the first I'm gonna invite. Ikaw ang may pinakamaraming alam tungkol sa aking love/like life.

Human 4: Why can't I make a harmless fat joke about you and you can make an insulting gay joke out of me?

Human 5: Sometimes I think you take glory at the expense of someone else's demise. Methinks you're just gonna laugh at how funny I look when I'm in that coffin (while everyone else is shedding tears). (Same goes to Human 4)

Human 6: If real life is Gossip Girl, you're Serena and I'm your Blair. The jealousy sucks but you're still one of my best friends. To be fair, I've never felt obliged to better when I'm with you.

Human 7: Sometimes, the diehard Christian lifestyle is kind of pretentious.

Human 8: Although you're stuck in your bubble of conservatism, thank you for being that supportive friend of mine in whatever lifestyle I choose to live by with. I've never felt less of a human being when we're together.

Human 9: I'm sorry for being papansin these days. I'm just meaning to regain the attention I lost from you.

I feel like a tabloid column, whattup.

listening to life

2011-01-31T01:54:00.000+08:00

I'm not the music savvy dude. My music knowledge -- and I dare say this -- is really below average. Not only do I not know how to play any instrument but I also can't detect the substandard quality of any pair of earphones. When it comes to identification of songs, I may recognize the melody but I suck in identifying lyrics and titles that I even thought "Gotta Let Go" in Dynamite of Taio's Cruz was "Galileo." The sadder part is that I'm not usually the first to recognize if a song is on its way to Billboard's first. I'm actually one of the last ones to do so.

But you know, I'm not that big of an outcast in the world where Lady Gaga's scandalous style is celebrated and listening to independent music is slowly becoming a pretentious norm. Just to be clear -- I don't hate music but I just have my own thing. Not that I'm an anti-mainstream guy, but I just go with my own flow. Not with everyone's flow but Kevin's flow. I can jump from a popular song to a not-so-popular one as long as my soul connects to that certain piece of music.

With that said, here's the collection of my all time favorite songs. This playlist was slowly made throughout the 17 years of existence. So, in no particular order, here are the songs that make Vin happy in his own world:

Semi-Charmed Life

Third Eye Blind

Drops of Jupiter

Train

Like A Prayer

Madonna/Glee Cast

Firework

Katy Perry

Shimmer

Fuel

How To Save a Life

The Fray

I Don't Want to Wait

Paula Cole

Mr. Brightside

The Killers

Dynamite

Taio Cruz

Club Can't Handle Me

Flo Rida

Best I Ever Had
Vertical Horizon

Fell in Love Without You
Motion City Soundtrack

Defying Gravity

Glee/Wicked

Xavia

The Submarines

When I listen to these songs, a world opens up in me. I reach that state where only I know why it's such. Why don't you try and experience how I listen to life? You'll enjoy it.

*all photos taken from Google Images. (Where else pa ba?)

everybody is ohana

2011-01-27T02:57:00.001+08:00

In my previous blog entries, I've written about the emotional burden that Big's family and friends are currently experiencing.

Click this please. If you do, then know that a.) Thank you for taking a little time in order to understand the whole situation. b.) If you know of people who can help, please refer that link to them. c.) Kuya Big needs all the prayers and help he can get.

Your small actions make a lot of difference.

Thank you.

The last picture where the clan is almost complete. Nothing after this.

hodgepodge of extremes

2011-01-23T14:03:00.002+08:00

"A pearl is a temple built upon by pain upon a grain of sand."

-anonymous

The recent chain of events has proven itself to be the ultimate roller coaster of worst's and best's. I'm pretty sure of it's ability to be part of my 2011 emotional highlights.

Best -- the Ana Alano cup. Being a champion and the best speaker actually meant a lot to me. It was the perfect symbol of defeating one's doubts and insecurities of his ablilites. That time I knew that I love debate -and most of all - that I can actually make it.

Worst because I didn't. Unlike the first try, I felt less disappointment mainly because I know that I have what it takes, but it was just a streak of bad luck that stopped me. But this time, I know the motivation is there. The only way to go now is in. I will go there no matter what.

Another best is the Intact exposure trip. Not only that we have the best block shirt design, but more of how it felt really good to make the kids smile. As an active support of social development, I am a sucker for these types of social work especially when it can produce those genuine, sweet, innocent smiles. In a span of four hours, three games, two performance numbers, and one banana dance, I'm pretty sure the kids experienced how "special" feels. And of course, I love my block. I do, I do.

The worst of the worst -- my cousin's critical condition. At 28, he's in a coma at an ICU and currently on life support.* His condition, they say, is not looking good nor does it show signs that it will. Quoting my cousin Denise, "I'm sad not because I'm close with him but because I might never be close to him." But when the mother stops reading prayers and starts reciting her own, you'd just feel the exact pain she's experiencing as her breaking voice struggles to find the right words to save Kuya. And when the clan is all together in a hospital room, you'd just know that it's a family when everyone starts hugging each other and the tears are falling freely from our red-soaked eyes. We just have to be strong, but it's that difficult.

"It may not be our weekend, but it is our year."

-All Time Low

plethora of worsts

2011-01-22T18:17:00.001+08:00

I think I might be exaggerating but really, I'm not okay. Physical fatigue is that bad, but mix it with the stress of emptiness, regret, guilt, rejection (by the person you love and the chance to do that activity you love doing) can be pretty tiring. With my free-falling academic grades, life is indeed difficult.

But take this -- all the aforementioned mixed with the fear that a close relative will lose his battle as he fights for his life in the hospital -- umm, stress is even an understatement. How about painful? It doesn't quite hit the spot either.

But what can a teenager do? I really don't know.

But I'm praying.

This is my poetry grade.

2011-01-21T12:18:00.004+08:00

This is a seatwork for my Lit 14 class. Ma'am Oblepias asked us to compose a Shakespearean sonnet entitlted "My Love Affair with Poetry." Mine follows the prescribed rhyme scheme and number of verses, except for the iambic pentameter. Who can create the best traditional poem (with all the content, imagery, rhyme scheme, meter) in just an hour anyway? Even Shakespeare did his masterpieces in a long time.

My Love Affair with Poetry

Kevin Mizon

Dying as an old withered bamboo, I long

That rebirth for life that’s well and alive.

She I saw, and never shall I be wrong

The beauty of its being, I survive.

She, the life that forever be an art

A splendor of words and image.

Though she’s passion with an insight,

Deeply wrong was I when for all age

Our sweet love is sweet for eternity.

For what I mostly experience is pain,

Loss of reason, that my heart can’t agree:

Suffer should I, or I to refrain?

Instinct is truth, so I chose to stay

For love is without any hurtful way

Visual poetry - the poem without words.

Epiphany

2011-01-01T01:36:00.003+08:00

That moment when the clock turned 12 and fireworks are up in the sky. That bright feeling of hope, gratitude, and love towering your whole being. That very big smile painted in your face after such a long time. You know the past is gone and in that exact moment, the future you've always wanted is now the present.

You know it's going to be better.

You just know.

Happy New Year.

The Ateneo Way

2010-12-31T21:48:00.000+08:00

Christmas dinner. Lola's house.

Lola: Kevin, name the five luminous mysteries.
Kevin: *krrk krrk*
Mama: Diba the first one is the baptism...
Lola: Don't talk. Let him speak!
Kevin: Hmmmm...
Lola: It should be automatic! You're from the Ateneo and you should know your mysteries!
Kevin's brain:

"Don't judge a Catholic by his knowledge of the rosary alone. Judge a Catholic not just based on his faith but on its application to real life. I'd rather be ignorant of the mysteries but I live my life inspiring others to be better. I don't want to be the know-it-all Christian who memorized the Bible cover to cover, yet greatly discriminates homosexuals and teenage mothers. Plastic much."

Don't get the idea that my lola is evil or something. In fact, she's not judging me as an immoral or traitor. That statement is not for her, but for the many Christians who do not live the genuine Christian way.

happy old and hopeful new

2010-12-31T21:34:00.001+08:00

A year in the life, list form.

January

ACET/UPCAT results

Xavier retreat

(attached here is the healing and

reconciliation with broken relationships)

February

Sister came home from New York

Received my first iPod

Rhythm of our destiny

March

Graduation honors and others

Bye high school

Start of series of summer parties

Start of Glee addiction

April

The fab 5 party

May

That historic elections (the family and that fear)

That historic Pocholo-is-here party

June

Goodbye, Davao.

Ateneo OrSem (Banana and A1)

ARSA OrSem

Start of Cantina getaways

July

I forgot. Seriously.

August

I forgot too. How awesome am I.

September

Tagaytay

IAC party

My birthday

The month my sister left. Again.

Birth of life tarb family

October

Dancesports finals

Dean's List

Sembreak and all the drama in it

November

PSDC with high school kids.

December

Powermatch

Baguio trip!

Rediscovering pain, joy, lust, love, pain

I don't even know what to feel. 2010 is not the best, yet definitely interesting.

Full of regrets, yet full of smiles anyway. I hope the list is way longer for 2011.

New year, new list?

New year, BETTER list.

That's the spirit.

death on a new year's eve

2010-12-31T18:25:00.002+08:00

I have nothing against fireworks display, in fact, i love it. what i'm against is the DIY type. The one that's way dangerous and can take your life at an instant.

And I fuckin don't know why many of our kababayans still find pleasure in all these thrilling life-eaters. They know the consequences yet they waste money in this life-destroying activity. What's more disappointing is that these users come mostly from the lower classes, whose income is not sufficient to even reverse the consequences.

I just find it irresponsible, immature, and goddamn stupid.

This isn't a debate on whether or not the state should allow individuals to have the liberty to harm themselves. The state should care. Especially to those passersby who can be accidentally hurt by these goddamn fireworks. Or those old people who get a heart attack from the sudden explosion of a paputok.

People should go out of their houses, safely rejoicing, not locked up in their room scared that they might be injured. That's not the way it goes, my friends. It's New Year's.

sorry, i love you

2010-12-30T15:44:00.003+08:00

You always hurt the one you love, the one you should not hurt at all;

You always take the sweetest rose, and crush it till the petals fall;

You always break the kindest heart, with a hasty word you can't recall;

So if I broke your heart last night, it's because I love you most of all.

-The Mills Brothers

Do you juana change? I do.

2010-12-28T01:32:00.002+08:00

No, I don't insult God by believing the video's truth and it's power to influence change. Go ahead, call me whatever --immoral, traitor, dirty, killer, erehe-- and I don't really care. This is what Jesuit education has done to me. Call me empowered, and I'm sure Rizal and Jesus are proud.

relationships 101 in venn diagram

2010-12-28T00:34:00.002+08:00

It is self-actualization that pushes us to search for that perfect match. No matter how long, far, or heartbreaking it may cause us, we continuously chase the right one. When we finally know who that person is, we become successful, complete, and most of all, happy.

The question now is when.

feature presentation

2010-12-27T20:26:00.003+08:00

i didnt expect to have followers and readers. i thought project life is technically dead since i'm the only one giving life to it. i was wrong, and if you're reading this, let me express my deep gratitude to you, for taking an effort and interest in knowing me and my stories.

as a thank-you and holiday gift, this is the only place where i'm going to post our fil12 movie project. and no, i'm not making buhat my sariling bangko. i just want to share what was, if not one of the, best happening of my 2010. it was a challenge to be an "actor," not to mention being the lead.

laugh at me, criticize the film, do whatsoever. it's my treat!

Credits to Fil 11 Group 4 and Sir Jacobo.

Ballais, Dauz, Hamor, Manotok, Mizon, Purrugganan

From Project Life to the World

2010-12-24T18:50:00.002+08:00

A Merry Christmas to you all!

enough said. :)

Lotteries

2010-11-29T13:01:00.000+08:00

What’s a 20-peso bill for when the prize is at 660 million? No one has had the perfect combination yet. Think, feel, and pray for the magical six numbers. Go out to the outlet, and place your bet.

Remember that you’re not the one in a million, but you’re just one of the millions. After the draw, you must emerge as the only one.

This is the lottery, ladies and gentlemen. The game where only the luckiest champions, and where everyone tests if they are. Everyone has a chance, so why not bet away?

You want the money. The one that makes the world go round. The one that completes the empty part in you.

More often than not, everyone but the winner fails. Oh, this is the worst part of bet – the feeling of disappointment.

Six numbers, with fifty-five options to choose from.

The probability of winning, they say, is very low. However, the hope in you defies the law of mathematics, simply because you believe more in faith. You don’t care what they say, and there are phenomena that logic can’t even explain anyway, yet faith can.

But it’s not just the lottery of money that we bet for.

What’s a single rose for when you get a garden of tulips in the end? No one has had the perfect combination of looks, wit, and charm yet. Think, feel, and pray for her one word of acceptance to your love. Go out to her, and express your desire.

Remember that you’re not the one in a million, but you’re just one of the millions. After the decision, you must emerge as the only one.

This is the lottery of love, ladies and gentlemen. The game where only the lucky champions, and where everyone tests their luck. Everyone has a chance, so why not bet away?

More often than not, most guys who pursue her get turned down. Oh, the worst part of bet – the feeling of disappointment.

You want her love. The one that makes the world go round. The one that completes the empty part in you.

She chooses one man, with five others to choose from.

The probability of winning, they say, is very low. However, the hope in you defies the law of mathematics, simply because you believe more in love. You don’t care what they say, and there are phenomena that logic can’t even explain anyway, yet love can.

Sometimes in life, it’s not enough to work hard to receive money and love; you must bet on it.

And I bet, they’re worth betting for

well, duh

2010-11-19T19:01:00.000+08:00

obvious much?

another happy place

2010-11-19T14:47:00.001+08:00

For the last semester, I only had three happy places: my dorm bed, Starbucks and Cantina. It may seem that my life is revolves on sleep, coffee and alcohol, but contrary to my 7 30 am punctuality records, I’m not the Atenean type who just parties and slacks off. Well, fine, last sem I was.

To prove to you that I am now a responsible student who thirsts for learning, I’m adding a fourth to my list of happy places:

The Rizal Library!*

Its aesthetic atmosphere exudes intelligence. It’s the library’s effective approach of encouraging me to actually study.

The building is built upon a contemporary architecture, with the dominant tones of white, silver, and the orange-redness of bricks. Not too loud to distract students with visual pollution, yet not too soft to bore them to dullness.

There are three fountains: two outside and one inside. Metallic sculptures, especially the central one with the crescent and star, enhance the impression of a contemporary and modern way of thinking.

There are five floors, each having a library section. Several study desks are provided and more than usual, it is turned into an alternative place of sleep. However, it does not fail to serve its purpose as many students like to lock themselves in a hidden corner, while waiting (or cramming) for that dreaded Math long test.

Couches, most especially in the second to fourth floors, are located beside the windows. For the students who enjoy the small little things, it’s highly suggested to grab a good book, and sit in this place while it rains. Nothing is comforting than the sight of wet window, with all the trees and buildings outside are in a peaceful, serene and quiet slumber. But if you’re under the influence of love, the unspoken rule will tell you that the couch is also the lovers’ corner, as they always end up napping at the embrace of each other’s arms.

When I’m in this library, I feel smart and motivated to browse the shelf for books and readings, sit in the wooden study tables, open my Mac, and abuse their wifi. It’s like I’m in a parallel universe where through the silence of everything and the smell of books, I am actually enjoying discovering truths about the world and the pieces that make it messy and organized at the same time.

Too bad I don’t have any girl with me to have a disgusting yet entertaining public display of affection with.

But why need a girl when I have my books and lappy anyway? I guess in that way, I will be able to display my affection for education, eh? It sounds sad, yeah, but there is a truth somewhere there, right?

The second semester has just started and you’re seeing more of the better student in me.

If you’re looking for me and I don’t have classes and org activities anymore, you know where to find me. I might be in Cantina, Starbucks or in my dorm bed, but if not, you now know the next probable place. I’m usually in the innermost desks of its fourth floor.

*forgive the absence of visually-stimulating graphics. if money fortune comes my way, i might be able to take pictures of these places. because sadly, i don't own a freaking camera.

mind, madness, and masterpiece

2010-11-19T14:37:00.001+08:00

I am sitting comfortably in Starbucks. Grande Café Mocha to my right, my iPod playing Teenage Dream to my left, and my Mac with a blank word document in front of me.

I start to place my fingers in the keyboard, with my left index on F, and the right on J.

Here we go, I thought. In the perfect place, with the perfect accessories. Nothing I can ask for more. I am so ready for that blogging catharsis of transforming my inner emotions into a 600-worded entry.

And then the worst hits me: I do not what to write about. Too many subjects, too many ideas, too many of the every little bit of everything in me.

Now, it’s time to bring in the thinking face. A writer is first a thinker, before a writer. So, I start looking to my right, with a serious expression. My eyes are deep in thought. I cross my arms, and start to place right hand under my chin.

Shall I write about my less-than-stellar love life? That even if I like this person, I always fear that rejection will be the only response she has? Or how behind me is a couple having the break-up talk? And how lucky they are to have experienced what love is?

Shall I write about how I lost my house and all the hidden struggles I went into the past months? On how I silently cried each night before falling asleep? Or when I pass by a row of houses, I feel this emptiness lingering in me? That everytime I hear Chrismtas songs, it’s so disheartening how I’ll never be able to spend my favorite holiday in my room? And how it feels like being shot whenever people plan this get-together in that Ecoland house, without them knowing about what happened?

Shall I write about how I miss my mom and sister? That the diaspora of the people I care about hurts so much? And how our current crisis is aggravating everything else?

Shall I write about my personality profile? That I don’t even know how to go even about it? That I don’t know what I want in life and the inner problem in me? Or even how being a college freshman, I still don’t know what to pursue yet in college?

Or in the tradition of moving on, shall I write about happy things? Or speak of hope, and the beauty of tomorrow? That I celebrate the love of my family and friends despite what comes along? And even when I see a couple, a family, a house, and a doctor, I know that I am going to find my place in this greater scheme of things?

Well, this is life. You get a lot, and you lose some. It’s about different topics, ranging from the ugly to the beautiful, bliss to the mundane, and even perky to emo.

Here I am, still choosing what topic to write about. I am still undecided but whatever the topic is, one thing is for sure: I will write about it.

First Day High

2010-11-16T17:51:00.001+08:00

Today is a Thursday thirsting for a fun Friday. I’m longing to be in a number of places right now – ranging from the staples of Cantina, Eastwood, and Starbucks to the non-familiar territories of Greenhills, Fort, and Ortigas. The Explorer in me cannot wait to end this first week the right way – inuman na!

Speaking of, the first week of classes is just like any other first week– the jumping Comm students at the sight of the missed blockmates who have new hairstyles, the retarded instinctive volunteering to be the class beadle just because the teacher is hot, the hassle-filled process of creating and joining new Yahoo groups, and finally the creatively-crafted motifs of org general assemblies where sometimes it gets annoying when they say PlanSem, EvSem, and PlevSem (some words I am alien to).

Classes-wise, I think I got a mix of the easy and the terror. I don’t have any terror masungit teachers but a lot of terror very high standards ones. My Lit14 professor claims that her students should have a Kleenex prepared for the epistaxis that her students experience at the time of her quizzes. Worse than that is my Fil professor whose career is highlighted by a current PhD degree, Palanca award and a first semester probation for literally failing a whole class.

More than the teachers are the classroom policies. They have been stricter now and I am pushed to face the morning with utmost happiness. Everyday 7 30 am quizzes and homework every meeting. It really is the perfect example of the “student-centered education” that a post-modern era must have.

As what the professor of a good friend said, “Mediocrity is a sin in the Ateneo.” But with 7 30 classes everyday?

I smell more effort. But why is the morning so early anyway?

One Big Fight, acads!

Karla Louise

2010-11-13T20:45:00.001+08:00

I'm feeling mushy and sentimental today. It's inevitable that with these emotions is the attached acknowledgement of someone's important presence in one's life.

***

It's not your birthday but I dedicate this blog entry just for you. Only you. For the simple reason that I celebrate you - being the awesome-est sister in my world - no matter what day it is.

Ikaw na ang goddess.

***

She named me Kevin.

After I was born, due to the paranoia that Mara Clara gave her, she followed the nurse in the nursery to make sure I'm not switched with any baby. When I was three, she would always raise me up, making me feel like I'm Superman. When she had measles and I was six, she purposely hugged and kissed me so that I'd never catch the disease in the future. When I was fourteen and started running for a student council position annually, she's always the default leader of my creative and promotions team.

When I was totoy and awkward

I always believe that I am my own sister. We share a lot of commonalities. Both of us love New York and the tv series Friends, Glee, and Gossip Girl. We sing terribly but when it comes to dancing, we always rock the dance floor. In the field of marketing and public relations, the Mizon siblings have good expertise in those.

Another commonality: our face.
This is the babaeng Kevin, circa 1999.

The nine year gap made our sibling dynamics different from those of siblings with lesser number of years apart. This age gap even made her sisterly. When problems arise, she's more than willing to lend her ears to me. And even when I refuse to drink with her, I know that she's one of the few people I can trust my life with - in case alcohol gets the worst of me.

I can never lose the iTouch, the two shirts and the keychain that she gave me. I treasure these because in them, I see and feel the love of a sister that a brother is lucky to have.

Nerd and sister

As the years pass by, I will forever be her little brother, and she will always be my big sister.

feeling witty kahit corny

2010-11-13T18:08:00.001+08:00

Whatever, vin.

define determination

2010-11-09T17:07:00.002+08:00

Blog for blog's sake: 15 movies

2010-11-01T02:04:00.000+08:00

Tell me what movies you watch and I'll tell you who you are.

Top 15 Movies

1. Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

2. There's Something About Mary

3. One More Chance

4. A Walk to Remember

5. 500 Days of Summer

6. The Beach

7. Memento

8. Elizabethtown

9. Fight Club

10. American Pie 1

11. Scream

12. Love of Siam

13. Eat Pray Love

14. An Education

15. Romeo + Juliet

my greatest fear

2010-09-26T15:59:00.003+08:00

it was the first time i admitted to a girl that i like her.

and she said i was too late.

Karma's a bigger bitch than you are.

2010-09-20T22:36:00.001+08:00

It won't be as sweet as your lies, will it now?

dryspell

2010-09-10T18:12:00.001+08:00

Ever since the start of the week, I feel so uncharged, so uninspired, so...un-me. I don’t want to get up from my bed because waking up means facing all the possible stress in the whole world. From the sleeping handsome (corny joke wtf. K), I morph to the zombie that I am afraid of -- one with heavy eyebags and dark circles below it, uncut hair that is so frizzy I’m gonna die, imperfect skin tone that is so disgusting to look at, and finally a body that is so thin that people think I’m the male Karen Carpenter. I always wake up to a migraine, nausea, dizziness, depression, and the ultimate existential question: “what the fuck is wrong with me?”

For the whole day, people kept asking me if I was okay. I hated it so much that I set up a tally board in my mind of the number of times people asked me the freaking “Am I okay?” question. You’re going to surprised at how many: 24. Twenty fucking four. And they’re not from just one inquistive-slash-concerned friend. They’re from several people, some of which I am not close with. Has hat zombie eaten all of my brains that it gained control over my body? Ugh. BV much.

What’s worse is that the zombie in me has not just affected my physical appearance and over-all health but my academics as well. I’m very proud of my high advisory grades but this zombie is an antagonist to my never-ending goal of being better. Sigh. I can’t even find where the protagonist is. I’m not even sure if he is strong enough to fight the zombie.

I don’t even know how this zombie was born. Was it when I saw two familiar people in my life who were one of the major major reasons why my high school life was a flop? Was it the fact that I felt rejection and repulsion from the orgs that I want to be in? Was it the fact that I do not even know what my future goal is?

I really don’t know.

What I know, however, is that I have to defeat this zombie. But the problem is I don’t know how. But I must. And so, I’m on my desperate search of the best weapon to defeat this zombie.

Wanted: Plants.

Amputa. This zombie has taken its toll on me. I’m so effin c-o-r-New-York.

craving

2010-09-10T18:11:00.002+08:00

I’m stoked for sembreak. It’s my first one – the newest page added to my history records. Finally, I’ll be able to experience the tradition that every college student has to undergo through. 3 weeks of family lovin, Davao bliss, everyday partying, and most of all, temporary liberation from the everyday world of academics. For almost a month, yey to having no written outputs for English 11, blog entries for Lit 13, chemical bonds for Chemistry 1, annoying lab sessions in Chem 2, traditional poems in Fil 11, frustrating exam scores in Math 11, and finally no more --- wait for it --- dance routines for Dancesports!

It’s not that I don’t like going to school. In fact, I love it so much that I felt I’ve grown so much in just a span of a semester. I’ve gained a lot of knowledge from all these classes. From new mathematical concepts to categorical syllogisms, my stocked knolwedge is getting fuller by the moment. My skills in speaking, writing, and analyzing all have indicated an improvement. I don’t feel that patapon anymore. But more than the knowledge and skills, I’ve grown to appreciate the value of self-improvement. This is Joy in Learning and Passion for Development in motion. Thank you, Ateneo, for this oppurtunity. Ang sarap talaga maging Atenista.

But Ateneans need rest too you know. I’ve studied hard, so I deserve to party hard. And as dormer Ateneans, I must be able to go back to my first home. Too much yearning for this home is bad for academic, emotional, and the psychological health. I can’t wait to take part in the unwritten tradition of Addu high alumnis which is to visit this school in their very first sembreak. I can’t wait to see the familiar faces of my teachers and of course, the once-youngsters who have grown to reign the high school arena!

Sembreak, oh sembreak, I can’t wait for you. As early as now, I want to ride a plane back to Davao, hug my family as tight as I can, spend time with high school friends in coffee shops just like the old times, go to Davao’s party hubs and party til I see the sunrise (or sunset. Hihihi), and enjoy the aesthetic feel of the beach with tanduay next to me.

Alcohol much? Haha. Alcohol will make people excellent. Kevin drinks alcohol. Therefore, Kevin will be excellent. J See? The real-life application of categorical syllogisms! Who says I’m not learning anytihing from En 11? Watcha say about that, eh?

Oh sembreak, come faster and save me from insanity.

the apprentice

2010-09-05T04:04:00.001+08:00

My 4th year high school english teacher told me this:

Nadine is brilliant in feature articles. So is Sophie. Elly is impressive in writing about facts and events. You, errr, you're really good in speaking.

My English 11 teacher told me this:

You can speak well. Really, you can. But when it comes to writing, I'm a little bit surprised. It's not as impressive as it is when you talk in class.

What a hurtful way of deflating one's ego. Do I suck in writing? When I look back at my previous blog entries, I think I do. When I read g mag's articles and the blog entries of my friends, I feel like the wannabe stereotype. When I get a B+ in my En11 homework and my seatmate gets an A, I morph to my green-eyed alter ego. Why are some people blessed with the talent of crafting beautiful articles and I remain as the substandard one? I love writing (I do! I do!) but it does not love me back. Talk about unrequited.

I dream of being a columnist in a major publication -- a reason why I'm taking up Communication in the wonderful world of the Ateneo. As I get more frustrated with my writing, the more I ask where Carrie Bradshaw gets her amazing skills. Or how Filipino columnists Conrado de Quiros and Patricia Evangelista embellish their crafts with their trademarks? But just so you know, I still dream of moonlighting as a famous writer. (and having lots of fan followers for this blog, hihi).

However, insecurities invade my consciousness and threaten my self-confidence. You know how some AMF majors are cuatro kids because they're damn good in mathematics? Or how dumb celebrities are still successful just because they're believable when they play an Emmy-nominated character? I want to be on the top of the world, being successful in the field that I'm in. I know it's not Math nor acting but I still haven't figured what field it is. It might be writing but given my current ramblings, I doubt if it really is.

Come to think of it, a strong faith allows room for doubts and imperfections. Michael Jordan can't shoot before. Demosthenes stuttered. Liza Minelli had an unflattering nose. Kevin Mizon can't write well. But we know that Michael Jordan is a basketball icon, Demosthenes is a renowned public speaker, and Liza Minelli is a world-renowned singer. Kevin, I'm sure, is currently in the making of a brilliant writer.

On the bright side, the statements of my teachers reflect that I'm good in speaking. Insert the moment of winning Ateneo de Davao VJ Hunt. Insert the memories of successfully hosting high school events. Insert the smile I had after hearing people's compliments to my lingual skills.

That smile is finally back. After this cocoon stage, I know it will get bigger.

Starbucks coffee provides me the much-needed aesthetic feel of a blogger.

pda

2010-09-04T01:21:00.002+08:00

sabi ko, "ang landi. mga walang kahihiyan."

pero sa loob-looban, "sana ako rin."

kapag ako ay nagmahal

2010-09-02T19:34:00.000+08:00

hmm. kelan kaya?

confused

2010-08-24T23:56:00.004+08:00

person a

i like you.

person b

i like you.

person c

i like you.

emptiness, failure, rejection

2010-08-19T19:06:00.001+08:00

zero in dancesports practical exam.

failed to make it into ads varsity.

but sometimes,

you just learn to move on.

and be better.

because i believe

2010-08-12T19:20:00.001+08:00

i believe in miracles.

i believe in prayers.

i simply believe.

i hope you do too.

help me.

im embarking on

an important battle.

a battle for life.

for happiness.

for love.

for you.

believe with me.

the happiest day

2010-08-12T15:28:00.000+08:00

August 24, 2010

7:30-9:00 Filipino 11 Long Test

9:00-10:30 Math 11 Long Test

1:00-2:00 PE Dancesports Practical Test (equivalent to a long test)

Akala mo wala akong hell week? Wala nga...dahil meron akong HELL DAY.

And not just because I have major tests on all of my classes that single day dahil ang tatlong yan ang pinakamahirap na classes na meron ako. Fil 11, kahit nag-eenjoy ako, ay isang malaking mental rape pa rin. Dancesports, kahit masaya, ay nag-rerequire ng super laking effort. Math 11 is... MATH. ALAM NA. :|

At eto namang si Pareng Noynoy, nagmagaling na ibalik ang klase sa August 23, a Monday. No chance to study. And my Mondays are the longest and most stressing day kasi may Chem Lab ako. Natural, pagod na pagod ako at ready na magpakamatay. Hay buhay. Makes me hate noy more and more. :| I miss Gloria's suspension of classes pag holidays. That's the only thing I like about her, sheesh.

Pero dahil true blue ako, I am inspired. I am empowered. I am charged. Kaya ko to. BAWAL ANG BV. DAPAT OPTIMISM AND HAPPINESS LANG. (fyi, di ito sarcasm.)

So, cheers to August 24, 2010. I shall conquer you!

mental rape

2010-08-09T22:44:00.000+08:00

Math is the ultimate mental rape. Wait -- lemme change that. ATENEO MATH IS THE ULTIMATE MENTAL RAPE. But I won't give up. I won't give up. I won't give up. FINE I GIVE UP.

*this is written on the sabaw state of an ateneo freshie. pagpaumanhin niyo po. he needs to keep his sanity intact.

gusto kita

2010-08-09T21:09:00.000+08:00

gusto kita

pag magkasama tayo,

palagi mong tinatanong

kung anong gusto ko.

tugon ko'y kahit ano

basta't makakapagpasaya

sa iyo.

pero sa loob-looban ko,

gustong sumigaw

at sabihing ikaw.

ikaw lang ang gusto ko

ikaw ang pagnanasa ko.

ikaw ang gusto ko.

nahihiya akong sabihin ito

baka layuan mo ako't

maglalaho ang lahat

ng pinagsamahan

ng pinagtawanan

ng pinagkwentuhan

ng lahat

ayaw kong ma-ilang ka

o kaya'y magalit

ayaw kong mapahiya

at maiwang nagsisisi

dapat mong malaman

pinaghahandaan ko

ang bawat isa sa

ating pagkikita

malinis, maayos,

gwapo, mabango.

ayaw magmukhang gago

pag nasa harapan mo

pag ika'y nakita

lubos na natutuwa ang

aking damdamin

galak na galak

makita ang iyong

ngiti at labi

kahit ako'y may sakit

pakiramdam ko'y

mahal na mahal

ako ng Diyos

dahil nariyan ka

habang ika'y nagkukuwento

ako'y nag-aabang kung

itatanong mo rin ba

kung gusto kita.

nag-aaabang sa

kahit sa isang bakas

man lang na

may kaunting pag-asa

na magkakaroon

ng isang tayo

kahit ang kinukwento mo

ay tungkol sa

isang taong gusto mo

ako'y nakikisakay lang

sumasabay at tumatawa

dahil ayaw kong magmukhang

gago at makasarili

para sa iyo,

sige na lang.

pero sa loob ko

umaasa pa rin na

ako'y gusto mo

at ang mga kwentong ito'y

panakip lang sa

tunay na nararamdaman

mo na ika'y nagkagusto

at nagka-interes

sa isang nilalang

na tinatawag na ako

pag kasama kita,

gusto kitang halikan

gusto kitang mayakap

gusto kitang mahawakan

gusto kitang maramdaman

ang iyong umaapoy na

katawan.

gusto kita.

pero di ko alam kung

gusto mo rin ako.

pero sa isip, puso

at kaluluwa ko

ako'y naniniwala

na kahit isang gabi

o hapon man lang

ay malaman ko

kung paano magmahal

o humalik

ang isang

katulad

Three's a Company

2010-08-01T04:32:00.001+08:00

Meet Jamie and Gea - two of my coolest friends. I miss them. I miss our IT Projects. I miss all the drama moments. I miss all the laughtrips. I miss all the hang-outs in my room. I miss the kulitan. I miss the asaran. I miss all the sigawan. I miss everything that is Jamie and Gea.

the unrequited love

2010-08-01T00:04:00.002+08:00

the cool nerd is cool because he likes to write. but he's not sure if writing likes him back. does that mean he's uncool? or worse, does that make him the main character in a sad story of unrequited love between him and the paper (or blogger or pen or whatever)? he's good in speaking. wait, not just good but really good. talking and socializing with others is the best weapon in his arsenal -- but writing?

incoherent, redundant, choppy, (insert all the criticisms here).

the nerd tries hard to be accepted. he works like hell to be appreciated. he invests well but everything comes back in reverse. he is always led to question the truth: "is it you or is it me?" but what he gets is a no-comment remark. oh why oh why does he feel this way? poor, damned little thing.

why does he try then? he's not a martyr, a saint, an angel. oh god no he's definitely not. but why?

maybe because he finds satisfaction in all of these. although a lot of his pieces are incoherent, redundant, choppy, (insert all the criticisms here), he's greatly empowered. this is keeps him sane. writing will forever be a beautiful thing for it paves way to the so-called "catharsis."

although it may not love him back, he will still continue to write. in this relationship, there's still chance for a better him. he has faith in hope and he has hope in faith. he loves hope and he hopes for love. cliche it may be to believe these rhetorics, he will still continue to write. why waste effort? simply because he believes it isn't.

hugs

2010-06-30T22:12:00.001+08:00

i miss my family. :(

home for sale...sold

2010-06-25T01:48:00.000+08:00

let me talk about my house. mine is actually very well associated with my name. aptly dubbed as "bahay ni Vin," it has become the home for project-making and practices for the past 7 years of my school life. moreover, this is the ultimate home where my barkada made awesome memories whether it be on a normal movie night to drinking sessions and even to the most intimate conversations. but most importantly, this is where the valdez-mizon family resides and where all the ups and downs, drama and laughter, and everything else in my family happens.

a house is not a home. but thankfully, i consider mine as one. but soon, it'd be gone for it will be sold to some Irish guy. goodbye home. sad and shocking, i know right? let me give you the reasons why this abode of mine will be in the hands of some foreign guy. oh my god. things won't be the same. ever. again.

1. Family Diaspora

The son is studying in the Ateneo de Manila. The daughter will be living in the concrete jungle where dreams are made of. The mother will be in Tacurong, (and forever pretty) as she revives our business and turn it into its best yet. No one will live in the house and it'd be useless since all of us are not gonna be living in Davao for at least a next decade or so.

2. Financial Crisis

We kinda need the money. So upside to all this is that I get a MacBook and a new phone. Shallow na kung shallow pero I need to be happy.

But moving on to the more serious part of this whole blog entry...I want to say that I feel that everything is moving way too fast. Masakit isipin na ang bahay na kinalakhan ko ay mapupunta na sa iba at tuluyan na itong mababaon sa memorya ko. Parang kulang pa ang time ko for bidding farewell to this house. Mahirap lang talaga mag-let go.

More so, I feel like a nomad. I'm in Cervini, my 'second home' but is it really the second or shall i call it the first? i know we have a house in Tacurong but its not my direct family's house; its the whole clan's. if im on vacay, i'd either sleep in hotels, kamag-anak's houses, friends' houses or kung kanino pa. Sure, papatayo kami ng two rooms in the top of my tito's bungalow in the beach area pero still, iba pa rin ang bahay na kinalakhan ko. DI AKO SELFISH PERO IBA PA RIN TALAGA NA MAY SARILI KANG BAHAY NA MATATAWG MONG SA IYO AT YOU FEEL SUPER COMFORTABLE IN THAT HOUSE.

All the memories are rushing back especially the ones on my Senior Year. A lot of special things happened in that home, especially in my room (aka ate kaye's room that i stole from her). Summer was fun for I have retreated from the world and have gone back to it greatly recharged. Or my last day in Davao when I had the best barkada gathering with Poch around and when I cried in front of Jamie before permanently leaving for Manila.

NAKAKAMISS LANG YUNG AKING TERRACE SA LIKOD NG ROOM KO. NAMIMISS KO ANG BATHTUBS. NAMIMISS KO YUNG MGA TV DUN. NAMIMISS KO NA YUNG SALA SA TAAS KUNG SAAN AKO NATUTULOG NUNG HIGH SCHOOL. NAMIMISS KO ANG MGA CR AT LAHAT LAHAT PA DITO.

Don't get me wrong. I am in favor in selling this house. I know that its for the better. For my family to be better in financial terms and for our family to miss each other therefore loving each other more in the process.

After all, "I still believe in paradise. But now at least I know it's not some place you can look for, 'cause it's not where you go. It's how you feel for a moment in your life when you're a part of something, and if you find that moment... it lasts forever." (di Caprio, 2000) Home is just a state of mind (plagiarism na kung plagiarism pero sikreto para bibbo, 2007).

My mom and my sis will forever be with me anywhere I go. That's paradise. I am still in touch with my friends and I meet new ones on the way. That's still paradise. I have "Cervini as my house and Ateneo as a whole my home" (Cualoping, 2010) That's another paradise.

NAKAKAMISS LANG KASI TALAGA ANG BAHAY NA YUN.

shit. parang love, kailangan na talagang mag-move on. pero bawal bang mag-reminsice?

new directions

2010-06-14T01:45:00.000+08:00

pardon me for this semi-late post. i was extremely busy for the past weeks that i lost the inspiration to write. after all, inspiration is the key to the so-called "blogging catharsis." but now that i have gained it once more, let me tell you that i'm in a new era of my life.

let me start off by saying that i feel like my life now is the Friends' grand finale. Friends ended its amazing 10-year run on one tearful episode. i wont go into deep episode details but yes, i cried. being the fan who's connected to the characters' lives, i felt the end of one chapter and a beginning of a new one. but more than that, i felt the real-life sadness brought about by the farewell of the whole cast and crew. 10 years is too much to handle in the filming of one episode.

10 years of Davao lifestyle, 4 years of groundbreaking high school memories, countless moments of great friendships are too much to handle when you're moving to a 'foreign' place for college. in elly's words: "it's hard to move on when you thought you have everything as perfect as it can be, and everything's gonna change faster than you can imagine." btw, that was just a paraphrase. just like Friends, i feel that a major part of my life has ended. all the after-school laags in mcdo, mts and nccc to the friday night city escapades to the language and culture of ateneans from davao - all of these are gonna be replaced.

i'm gonna be separated from my family. we sleep in one room and all of these are just a blur of the memory. more details on these in the upcoming blog entries. but yes, thanks to technology, i can still be with them even though its just on a virtual level.

my ecoland house is replaced by cervini. my room is now C202 - shared with three happy people. no more aircon but at least there is the love of a bigger community. no more ate neneng, manang jo and kuya mike for me!

the wowness of ateneo de davao is replaced by the bigger wowness of ateneo de manila. from a blue knight, ive metamorphosized to a blue eagle. im with A1 now whom I am having a great time with! did i mention im an Englishero now? goodbye di juy, olwa, as in, offend, and other lingo of the proud davao atenean. oh, there are stricter anpers and awesome simpaos here!

dont get me wrong. i am having the time of my life! the thankful me is rejoicing and all these are for my dream, my goal, my future. THIS is what i've been asking for ever since.

its just that i cant help but compare. alam mo yung tipong, when i notice something i say to myself "we have these in davao." take for example, third and the dollhouse people, i remember our own set of gays. or if i see socialites, i remember bea. when i see pretty girls, i remember my high school crush, ***** whom im sure is gonna attract a lot of manliligaws.

come to think of it, there's a value to comparing anyway. it makes me appreciate the good things of my past and reminds me how lovely my life is. moreover, comparing has helped me internalize life lessons that are essential to my manila life. this emo-ness is temporary - perfect for the adjusting stage in my college life. most of the next blogs are probably gonna be about manila life in general, anyway.

let me end here. i guess the letting go part is what's most painful. but what i' m gonna embrace next is what's more significant. it's the start of something new, of something better. clean slate and a group of cool people- life's all good.

after the FRIENDS finale of my life, it's time for the world premier of the something better in my "A Wonderful Life." ~~or it can be entitled "HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER" and "SEX AND THE CITY."~~

I'll be there for you. Finale or premiere, I have my family, friends, classmates,

teachers, etc to help me reach the highest vinnicents.

New Directions. Greatest life lessons from

them: Don't Stop Believin and Keep Holding On.

Love Happens?

2010-06-01T09:27:00.002+08:00

you feel it in your fingers. you feel it in your toes. love is all around us and so the feeling grows. it's written on the wind and it's everywhere you go.

romantic love is ubiquitious. i often witness my friends jump in glee and mourn in sorrow, all thanks to this love. everyday, we ~~excruciatingly~~ hear justin bieber and miley cyrus sing ~~awfully~~ about love from a teen's point of view. chick flicks also never fail to deliver a love plot. even calibre films like that of Leonardo di Caprio's and George Clooney's dwell on deep, mature romantic storylines. noticeably, from the grassroots to pop culture, romantic love is the number one trending topic of the so-called real life.

a lot of men and women have experienced the sweetness of love starting from the kilig one initially feels to passion that is fueled by the intensity of the ~~flesh~~ heart. the same men and women, however, also tasted its bitterness as it grew from the petty fights that later on developed to anger, distrust, failed loyalty, and the much-feared break-up. and so, whether people loved love or hated it, they all experienced it.

but this blog entry is not about the person in love nor the heartbroken one. it's about those who experience neither - human beings who are so unfortunate in the pursuit of love. yes, people like these exist - from age-old single women (or cougars perhaps?) to straight effeminate men and even shy, physically-awkward teenagers. they all seem aesthetically-unfit for a fleeting romance yet they wish to feel the happiness of cloud 9. sure, they're single and always ready to mingle but apparently, no one likes to mingle with them. moreover, they've endlessly searched for the right one but always fails to find it. they've waited, prayed, socialized enough, reinvented themselves, and done all the possible ways to have a girlfriend/boyfriend but it seems that rejection is their ultimate partner in life.

and when these people listen to miley cyrus and justin bieber or when they watch love-themed films, they obviously can't relate to the situation of the couple; instead, they feel worthless and wanting to be in the same situation in reality. it's not a sin to commit fantasy, anyway. but in the end, napapabuntung-hininga na lang sila at iisipin kung kailan mangyayari sa kanila ang matagal-tagal na inaasam.

"it's better to be broken in love than not to have loved at all." the meaning of this cliche line is always relevant to people who wish to love but they got none to share this with. clearly, life is lonelier, sadder, and much more miserable when you have no one but yourself to share precious romantic moments with.

romantic love is indeed ubiquitous. so ubiquitous that its hurts more when actual friends and relatives have experienced/experiencing romantic love. it feels very oppressing that these people can't relate about the feeling of mutual understanding and reciprocative affection because after all, when they love it's all about fantasy and when they try to approach someone, the feeling is just one-way, never coming back to them.

i am scared to admit that i might be one of these. the fact that at 16, i still haven't experienced the emo-ness of a heartbreak nor the 7th heaven when i finally hear the word yes. more importantly, i wish to fall in love and when i have love posts, i was not writing about how i experienced the ups and downs of romantic love but on how i experienced the failure of finding one.

all i can do now is wait and pray. this is all for the sacrament of love. ~~pero baka naghihintay ka lang sa wala.~~ but love, can you find your way to me faster please?

buti pa si nerd, na-in love kay beth cooper. ako, kailan kaya?

Davao State of Mind

2010-05-29T06:19:00.005+08:00

In a few days, I'd leave Davao. They say moving on is hard pretty much like the withdrawal symptoms one has from having certain vices but I know I must move on or else I'd be left behind. Emo na kung emo but I never expected how emotional I'm gonna be given the many changes in my life. Trust me, among all my manila-bound friends, I'm the one with the most changes. In the moving on stage in life, it aint bad remembering the beautiful days hence I listed the important Davao landmarks that left a mark in my heart.

Mcdo Matina
The ultimate eating place where Ateneo de Davao High students usually eat after classes, saturday (and sunday) lunch and dinner as well! Tis also the ultimate meet-up place for group projects, laag, class outings, random hang-outs, even dates! So many friendships of mine have been established here in its two and a half year run.

Ateneo de Davao State of Mind
I'm very proud that I got to experience the culture of Ateneo de Davao! The sosyolek (or is it idyolek?) of the students here is just contagious. We're not the normal Bisaya because we always speak di juy, olwa, kay + ngano, kay + verb, adjective + siya + teh, offend, huuuuuy, as in, and hate (we say "hate!" when we dislike something really bad). Too bad this won't be alive in Manila given the Tagalog-accent they sport or the conyo culture of the mayayeahmans there. Btw, my friends call me conyo, whaddup?

But more than the language of us Ateneans, I'm gonna miss all the annual events and traditions of these majestic high school ie Freshmen Field Day, the Sports Complex Prom, Fiesta, etc etc. I shall not forget the faculty of this school who gave me important lessons in life as they made me experience hell (hello miss anper!) And of course, the ever-famous Fr Anthony Pabayo whom we are so fortunate for!

Malls and Coffee Shops in Davao
A lot of SM's are present in Manila but I'd always remember that SM Davao is my ultimate shopping place for clothes and school materials. Sure, there is Eastwood but nothing compares to the laags, hang-outs and debate trainings every night before debate tourneys in Matina Town Square. Yes, Ayala Malls are sprawled out in the Metro Manila landscape but I've always made Gaisano Mall and NCCC a laag haven! Starbucks is nowhere to be found here in Mindanao but I have my Blugre, Fagioli (where certain truths about love are revealed! *wink wink*), Kasagingan, Chicco di Cafe, Karls Koffee Korner, Bo's and so much more.

Friends left behind
Davao is where you find some of the best people in the world and I found them! Sadly, I have to leave some and make new ones in Manila. But who says friendships have to end? I might not be there for them personally but I'll always be there virtually. Thank God for Facebook, Twitter, and other social networking sites. Hihi. And dont worry, I'll always make sure to meet up with these friends once I get back here for occasional visits. "College friends may know you but high school friends will always know why." - semi fail quote of Elly's esoteric valedictorian speech line.

Bahay ni Vin
A house is not neccesarily a home but this Ecoland residence has been my home for 8 years. 8. crucial. years. of. growing. up. And friends, this is not just about leaving the house but leaving it permanently bec it's for sale! When I set foot for Manila this June 1, that is the last time I'm gonna see this house. This was where projects were always made, where my barkada always hanged out as we watched movies and partied like crazy. Too bad I can't bring my Manila friends in Davao and I have to sleep over in some kamag-anak's house whenever I go back. But I'm open about this house being sold because after all, it's useless (go to Family to find out why) and we need the money. So if you know people who are interested to live in a 10 million peso house conviniently located in the sprawling metropolis of Davao, please contact me.

Family
This is the Valdez-Mizon diaspora. Kevin, the ~~prodigal~~ youngest son, is in Manila for his rich future. Kaye, the daughter, is in New Yoooooork ~~kangkong garlic lettuce tomato~~ where she has a profitable job and is nesting with hubby Kevin Gathers. Portia, the ever-fabulous matriarch, is in Tacurong reviving the business of ours. I'm looking forward to family dinners, getaways and cheap long calls thanks to Sun!

But then again I shouldn't mourn that much. I realize that my family, pretty much like Jesus who cant just be found in some altar, can not just be found in some Ecoland residence or wherever we are housed. Family is with me anywhere I go, everywhere I step my shoes into. I'll always feel alive because of them - wherever they may be in this universe.

The one lesson that I picked up in this whole moving-on process? That I should be very grateful. Now is when I fully appreciate of what I've had. When I go to Manila for college, to foreign lands for further studies, and base in some place else, I know that Davao will always be a part of me.

There's really nothing like Davao.

be like that

2010-05-19T00:53:00.007+08:00

Be Like That

by Three Doors Down

He spends his nights in California

Watching the stars on the big screen.

Then he lies awake and wonders

Why can't that be me?

Cause in his life he's filled with all these good intentions.

He's left a lot of things he'd rather not mention right now.

But just before he says goodnight,

He looks up with a little smile at me and he says

If I could be like that

I'd give anything

Just to live one day

In those shoes.

If I could be like that, what would I do?

What would I do?

Now and dreams we run.

She spends her days up in the north park,

watching the people as they pass.

And all she wants is just a little piee of this dream, is that too much to ask?

With a safe home, and a warm bed, on a quiet little street.

All she wants is just that something to hold onto, that's all she needs.

Yeah!

If I could be like that, I would give anything

Just to live one day, in those shoes.

If I could be like that, what would I do?

What would I do?

I'm falling into this, in dreams we run away.

If I could be like that, I would give anything

Just to live one day, in those shoes.

If I could be like that, what would I do?

What would I do?

If I could be like that, I would give anything

Just to live one day, in those shoes.

If I could be like that, what would I do?

What would I do?

If I could be like that, I would give anything

Just to live one day, in those shoes.

If I could be like that, what would I do?

What would I do?

Falling in.

I feel I am falling in to this again

__________________________________________________________________________

This song made it into Vinnicents' Music of all time. Appropriate for my current situation! I love the uplifting melody and the catchy tune! Very Vinnicents! (Just YouTube the song if you want the full music, but if youre lazy, just be blown away by the lyrics)

...be like that? what's "that?" (and so, the question lingers on!)

reaching that star

2010-05-18T23:17:00.003+08:00

everyone puts premium on fulfilling one's dreams and ambition. when people give an inspiring message, they usually speak of working hard to be the dream they've wished for. we often hear this theme in commencement speeches, graduation songs, birthday wishes, inspiring talks, parentals' imparting of wisdom to their children, even in tv shows and movies (i.e. disney princess films, glee, etc)!

don't get me wrong because i strongly believe in doing what is possible just to reach the stars. but the problem is, i do not know which star to reach. i don't know what i want to be. if in success stories we often see in films, we see this poor girl who wants to be an actress. she went through a hell lot of everything but because of her unwavering passion and extreme perseverance, she emerges as one of the most influential people ever. same storyline applies to the kid who dreams to be the doctor, the musician, the politician, the CEO, the blah blah, the blah blah.

ask me what degree I'm taking in college, I'll say I dont know. I may be taking up Communication but I'm still confused. a college degree (more-or-less) speaks of the path you're traversing through. ask me what I imagine of myself when I grow up, I'd answer happy, rich, influential, charitable, and extremely passionate of my job. BUT THEN AGAIN, WHAT JOB?! (or at least, what field?)

why do i get to pick my life's path at a young age of 16?! this is what's shitty about the Philippine educational system. (Noy please push through the 12 year educational thinggy! please please) I am jealous of my international friends who have 2 more years of discerning and soul-searching.

i'm an extremely passionate person and when I dream of something, I'd make sure it'd be a reality. I guess the problem here is figuring out THAT star. and this is a never-ending problem that i have! when i enter the ateneo de manila in two weeks, i want to be focused on my dream and not on what i want to dream.

tasks that actually make me happy

2010-05-18T20:31:00.006+08:00

gotta love post-its. i want a profile picture like this one.

this is a list of post-summer, pre-dorm life tasks that i must achieve. being organized and discipline is actually fun for this pretentious neat-freak that i am. these i must do before the bittersweet bye-bye to my beloved davao.

[ ] put more songs in my ipod
[ ] organize my lappy files
[ ]add contacts in my new ym: vinnicents
[ ] organize contacts in my fbook account
[ ] find a gorgeous tumblr layout and actually use it

im not sure or what but i like looking at the list. it makes me feel...blissful. contrary to popular belief, i'm not that burara nor am i that makalat. i consider myself a sucker for cleanliness because then again, i find my organized stuff an aesthetic wonder.

(56) days of summer

2010-05-18T00:16:00.002+08:00

this is not a love post. nor is this a post about love. the title above is a literal one, unlike the movie 500 days of summer wherein summer is an actual name of my not-so-favorite girl, Summer! (some intermission- i really thought the movie was about this guy who found love while he was on a 500 day summer break. i instantly got jealous of his long vacay, boohoo.)

my summer is an average one. no beaches though which I totally agree on, given the reason that I don't want to be tanned as tanned vinnicents looks horrible. but the absence of beaches, summer getaways, and a groundbreaking summer love story are replaced with the existence of the ever-efficient boredom busters Facebook, Twitter, Blogger, Formspring, Yahoo Messenger and Torrents! (GOTTA LOVE TORRENTS! I have more than a dozen of episodes and movies in my lappy now!) Oh, and did I mention I get to sleep? Like unlimited sleep? Oh-la-la!

i kinda like my summer for its boredom. in a sense, boredom gives me a break from all the adrenaline-induced school days. it gives me time to notice how far i've come, how far i should go. and this same boredom gives me the oppurtunity to appreciate the small little things. things such as the relaxing sight of my room, the chirping sound of the birds, the smell of morning air, the taste of eggs, the cozy feeling while it rains, etc. that's why i love brownouts. it gives me this retreat from the complexities of my world as it takes me somewhere fulfilling. more fulfilling than getting a notification in FB and a tweet in Twitter as this fulfillment radiates within me. and this is what people call inner happiness.

one more maka-happy thing: I ACTUALLY GOT TO EXPERIENCE A NEAR-ELECTION RELATED VIOLENCE! more kwento on this on a separate entry. I was scared but from where I am now, I am proud that I've been through all that brouhaha. you might think I'm shallow but because of this shallowness, a fire in my heart was ignited to continue the battle for justice and clean elections! social development is in my advocacy list!

this is what makes my summer special. if Tom Hansen emerged as a better person after 500 days with her, I have emerged as a better Vinnicents too even if I only had 56 days. 56 days of rest, blisfulness, and plain awesomeness.

i'll always love this account

2010-05-17T23:25:00.007+08:00

mind you, i had a lot of failed attempts of transferring to other blog sites ie livejournal and wordpress. they have better blogging services than this blogger one. oh well, it didnt materialize. i may be lazy but this account will always have a special place in my heart. case and point, i can never ever leave this vinnicents.blogspot.com :)

after all, this is my first blog account. without this one, i would never have thought of "vinnicents," a trademark i own, a penname i am proud of, and a term that perfectly reflects who i am.

and i just love my website design! forgive me for pagbubuhat ng sariling bangko, but i'm just that proud! everything - the blue and gray color, the layout, the picture-header - screams vinnicents. it practically took me two years to concpetualize a perfect design and just before 2010 starts, this blog was ready to roll!

as much as i love to use wordpress' photo features and livejournals' effect, i think i'm staying in blogger. even though i failed in my promise to deliver a regular writing routine, i think i can best express whatever i have here. even if blogging is a thing of the past and i have moved on, i will always go back to this account and be once again mesmerized of how reflective this blog was of my intricate existence.

...but the social networking addict that i am does not only stop here. i have tons of accounts too! but among all of these, blogger will always be my first special account.

www.vinnicents.blogspot.com

this is my oh-so-favorite header. i got this from

john mayer's former twitter background.

my summer love affair

2010-04-06T02:26:00.004+08:00

definitely in my list of favorite tv series

crossroads

2010-04-06T02:00:00.007+08:00

i like the summer of 2010 for being the transition period to the two major eras in my life - my dark ages (aka high school) and my renaissance (college). but as i look back at my high school life and look forward to my college life, i am faced with two crossroads. i wish that there's a tourguide to tell me which path to take.

ab communication or ab development studies?

[x]interest for both

[x]aptitude for both

I. MUST. THINK. MORE.

condo or dorm?

issue 1: comfort

okay, condo wins.

issue 2: community. fun. friendship.

okay, dorm wins.

and no, i wont take CONDORM for an answer.

I. MUST. THINK. MORE.

ONE THING IS SURE IN MY MAP, THOUGH.

that my future home is this...

the ateneo de manila university

a worthy holy week

2010-04-02T00:01:00.007+08:00

holy week is not just about being sad. its about being new.

its going away from the hectic everyday and going back to it renewed.

i have always been excited for holy weeks. i like the feel of a break from the normal, everyday routine especially during holy thursdays and good fridays when most of the businesses and malls are closed. even television companies halt the airing of their regular programs and replace them with holy week specials. notably, studio 23 has its tradition of airing 7th Heaven and gilmore girls. during this week, everyone is on vacay so the city's commercial areas and public places (except for churches) seem to be urban ghost towns.

i ususally spend my holy week in my house. with my family, i also go to several churches for visita iglesia and to shrine hills for the way of the cross (more on these later). here is a list of the different activities i recommend so that holy week will live to its name of being different from a normal week. (disclaimer: i will be preach-y and will sound religous at some parts but hey, i am for deep spirituality :p)

1. pray, reflect

this is best done out of openness and willingness. you pray because you want to personally talk to God. dont pray because you need to; pray because you want to. reflect because you want to know what went wrong in the past so that you can think on how to be better. activity number one can be done whenever, wherever and however you like it. sit in a corner or go to a church. just make sure that the ambience is appropriate. put on music that may suit the mood. a journal is also helpful. trust me, spiritual fulfillment is better than the fulfillment of eating a delicious chocolate cake.

2. visita iglesia

it's my family's tradition. visit at least 7 churches and in each, pray to God. light a candle that emotionally connects you to the creator. in your prayer, ponder on the past and give thanks for whatever good has happened. also mention your intentions for the future. prayers here do not take the form of a rigid template. its a personal prayer, not a novena. after each visit, you'd enjoy the tranquility and the inspiration.

on a side note, numerous vendors outside the church are selling typical street food! chicken skin, mani (peanuts), hilaw na mangga (green mangoes), fishballs, buko juice, balut. yum! visita iglesia is not just a spiritual emancipation but an engorging food trip as well!

3. way of the cross, shrine hills style

in davao, our way of the cross is pretty much like Jesus'. its literally up an hill. its not the gethsemane though but shrine hills in gsis. you start from the base and you walk an uphill battle with the stations serving as pitstops. its a great experience because it simulates the actual way of the cross. and, and, and lots of food vendors too. not just street food but LOTS of food. even greenwich has a concessionare booth here. *wink wink*

4. movie/dvd marathon

this is an obvious activity for people on vacay. it's stress-relieving and entertaining to watch and be one with the characters of your series/movie. it gives you a sense of a laidback lifestyle. i mean, who doesnt want to be a bum for once in a while? i recommend gossip girl, friends, and glee. or if you love asia that much, koreanovelas taiwanovelas, asianovelas are still ubiquitous. dont worry, i wont brand you as jologs.

5. book marathon

if you appreciate printed literature, go for a book marathon! if you have the willpower to read a book, then go ahead! for me, even if the book is a page-turner, im always lazy and i always end up stopping at page 20. i didnt even finish reading my book for english second quarter book report. good thing i have issa with me as a groupmate. im sorry for digressing. you get the point of a book marathon. i presume youre not stupid.

6. clean and organize

be OC this time. open your ipod, email, desktop, flashdrive, facebook, etc and seriously start making an aesthetic coolness out of it. dont be a dirty joe. be a clean steve. as you bid farewell to all of your messy habits (and say hello to it later :p), you clean and organize yourselves to the point that you'd come out of holy week refreshed, renewed and energized to take on life's dirtier challenges.

7. relax, have fun

SELF-EXPLANATORY MUCH

for the whole year,

i worked hard.

i studied hard.

now

i'll play harder

the loser villain

2010-03-29T01:47:00.010+08:00

the niche of the (wannabe) bitch aka loser villain

addu batch 2010 has a gossip girl. actually, im not sure if it's a girl, a boy, either, or both. for convention's sake, let's refer to this gossiper as "he." his existence reflects the irony of the batch: with its many promising students, rotten, stupid, moronic and utterly brainless students are existing.

i just cant help but ask, why do you have to defame people anyway? some say for fun and adventure? so... what's fun with this anyway? why is this fun, to begin with?

i guess he finds this fun simply because he needs an outlet for his problem. a social problem perhaps or even a family problem. only by putting people to shame and by saying to the whole world that this person had sex with this one or by saying this guy looks pangit, he finds fulfillment. a pitiful, worthless, rotten type of fulfillment. you know how some women, who dont have a father in their lives, engage in relationships with many guys in a small amount of time? same thing here. he may have a social problem as he is full of hate. he may have felt hated before and so he is looking for revenge now. with this blog that he has, he finds an outlet for his emotional problem. how shallow is that?

come to think of it, HE IS ACTUALLY THE UGLY, CHEAP, SHALLOW PERSON THAT HE ACCUSES HIS VICTIMS WITH. this blog is not cool. it may be cool watching it on tv but it is not cool in real life when real people, and not fictional characters, are being destroyed already. ateneans know better and its sad how this atenean is a moron for bringing a fictional tv show into real life. HOW STUPID. HOW MORONIC. HOW DUMB. YOU GIVE THE WORD ATENISTA A BAD NAME. YOU DONT DESERVE TO BE CALLED AN ATENEAN. YOU DONT DESERVE TO BE GIVEN THE DIPLOMA. ...unless of course you admit and repent for this.

to the victims, i guess just look at it in the bright side. think of this way: youre popular and cared for by many that some people are jealous of this and are willing to put you down. look at maricar reyes, the hayden kho videotape scandal girl, who had a high flying career after the storm. think of it as a publicity act. and in this storm, you'd find out who your real friends are.

and yeah, the more victims he destroys, the more pitiful he is going to be. the more victims he destroys, the more opposition he gets. the more victims he destroys, its not you, victims, that people are going to hate nor going to pity, but this gossiper himself.

more victims = more people who hate him. simple. no one is enjoying this, really.

and to everyone, let us not support this one. by simply not contributing anything and by reporting the blog as an avenue for abuse, we have done our part in preventing this villain. LET US NOT ENCOURAGE HIM.

AND YOU KNOW THE GREATEST OFFENSE? people think that this gossiper is from 4xavier because he has great english. OHMYGOD!

HE DOES NOT SPEAK GOOD ENGLISH! people of the world, know what good english is and know what's not. please, he is nowhere near good. hello, know is different from now. hello, good english writers dont have ellipses in every sentence. (ellipses = ...) hello, poor and ugly transitions! we from 4xavier know how to speak and write better.

im sure you know of the villains in movies who became villains out of their deep emotional problems because life was harsh on them? they terrorize because they need an excuse for these psychological problems they have. same goes with this gossiper. its just that he is a real-life problematic villain.

but as you know, all these villains lose. a bitter downfall, in fact. same goes for him. this can happen if and only if we become the heroes that we should be.

lo and behold, the niche of the villain's enemy

Identity Crisis

2010-03-21T00:05:00.006+08:00

No, I'm not confused with my sexual identity. And no, I'm not in the identity crisis that most early teenagers go into. I'm a graduating senior and I pretty much know who I am: a person who is both shallow and deep. Shallow, in the sense that I am like any normal teenager that craves laughter and has a good taste in movies, fashion, books and music. Deep, in the sense that I always think deeper and ponder on the essence of various things. This is what I am now. but what do I want to be in the future? a more direct to the point question is what degree will I take in college?

For two years now, I've been fighting this battle and obviously, I'd been losing. One time, I want to be like this and the next time, I discover that it was just a spur of the moment. I wanted to be a journalist because I saw debaters excelling in that field. Me, wanting to be like them, chose that course in UP. Now, I dislike journalism because its not income-profitable and its a dangerous field out there. (Hello, Ces Drilon and hello, Maguindanao Massacre) Before, I was planning to take up Management Engineering in Ateneo but I realized that the reason is that it's a course that awes people and I, as a people-pleaser, want to awe people. There was also this one time that I thought I was serious in Economics. But, it turns out that I just enjoy reading the book and analyzing the trends but I still hate reading graphs and Statistics. Although Econ can be a great mind snack, it just remains as a snack and not a meal. Sense my point? It's like a one night stand. Panandaliang aliw.

See, this is the shallow part of me. Where is the deep part of me? Uh-oh.

Other people chose Medicine because they have this sudden interest in Medicine ie Gea and Davin having the call to be the modern day heroes by being doctors. Others were brought up and were fed by Natural Science tidbits ie Pisay people taking up Chemistry and Biology. Oh, some are just purely genius (and enjoy that theyre actually genius in it) ie Elly taking up Applied Mathematical Finance. The problem with me is that I'm an everywhere person. I can succeed anywhere you put me. Even if you put me in architecture, engineering, math, or wherever, I'd strive to actually succeed. And not only that but I like many, many things! I do enjoy English, Math, Social Studies and many things. I want to be an icon by 23. I want to be the male Oprah. I want to be the CEO of my company. I want to be the lawyer. I want to be a celebrity. Blah. blah. blah. I love everything but I cant be everything because being everything means being all around the place. being all around the place means being messy. and i dont want a messy life.

I gave a deadline to myself. By March 22, on the day of my graduation, I must have a career path before me. So...

Without further blabber, I am proud to say that I'm done with my Identity Issue! It's solved, finally! I choose to be part of these fields: Communication, International Relations and Sociology. (I might go to Law and yes, I can still go to law with these degrees.)

Communication would be my major. International Relations and Sociology will be minors.

I'm interested in Communication because I like to explore my creative side. I know I have this creative side in me. Its just that its not brought out yet. And I like to talk. A shallow reason, but enough to propel me to Comm. Going deeper, my hobbies are comm-related! Im after the film/music/literary appreciation! And I like giving reviews. And comm can be in marketing and public relations and I think I might be it for me. Oh yeah! Im good in the analysis part. Ive done this paper in English and Miss Aquino said I deserve way more than the perfect score. That was the sign I was looking for from the Lord!

International Relations because I'm global. Seriously, I like international stuff. I'm good there. Just a minor because Ateneo doesnt offcer a specific degree that covers international relations. it has european studies and political science but i dont want to focus on europe alone and i dont like to study deeper on politics. purely international relations.

Im interested in sociology. Im at my best during socio debates because I can simply relate to it. Its interesting and I can relate to it. It's amazing and I can relate to it. Enough said. Why a minor? Because I don't want to be poor and I dont want to live my whole life researching.

I like law because of An Exorcism of Emily Rose, Dahil may Isang Ikaw, Love Story in Harvard and Legally Blond. The profile of a law student pretty much interests me because I like the aesthetic feel of a law student's desk: full of books, papers, highlighters and pens. It seems cool. And I like investigating. Uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it. That's the way I like it.

World, I introuduce to you, the Kevin Luke V. Mizon who has a deep knowledge and a credible expertise in communication, international relations and sociology!

rule number one

2010-02-20T23:11:00.001+08:00

bawal umasa.

my first high school moment

2010-02-20T19:35:00.006+08:00

you didnt notice it but i had feelings for you. serious feelings.

more than infatuation but less than love. but still, feelings must be returned for it to grow to the next stage. you may have returned my kisses, but you never returned my ardor. you made me believe that this can grow. or so i thought.

id like to thank you for the explicit rejection. buti pa si miss mailah, subtle rejection kung mali ang answer ko sa recitation sa physics. ikaw, explicit rejection. it hurts more.

you know how in the adult world, where after one night of passion and good sex, the girl (or the guy) does not call back? well, thats how i felt. you left me hanging. you kept me waiting. you had me expecting.

i feel this way now because you never replied to my messages or my texts. all are failed attempts. it seems as if we never know each other. fine, i understand that youre busy but its impossible that youre busy 24/7, 365 days a year. im also busy but i still have time in my hands. no one is too busy in a lifetime. or else youre dead by now, duh.

it just pains me that im just one of your coconut trees.

hindi naman bawal sa isang asec president na maging normal high school student at times. paminsan-minsan lang ito mangyari. pagbigyan na kasi malapit na akong mag graduate.

on being smart

2010-02-13T08:38:00.000+08:00

"Smart people tend to be liberated because they are open-minded" And yes i am.

4-Xavier's Season of Love

2010-01-27T21:24:00.007+08:00

44 reasons why I love 4-Xavier

In the way I see it, I consider the retreat of 4-Xavier as a birthday.

Each one of us underwent a rebirth. Out with the old, and in with the new. A new that is way better. 4-Xavier was able to let go of the troubled past and move on to a great future. (Even if that future, as we all know, is very short. Two months. :o)

I'm happy with how the wounded ones were able to release their heavy sentiments may it be with God, family or friends. I 'm happy with how 4-Xavier was not shy to share what's happening in their own families and because of this, they were able to fix things with their parents. I'm happy with how many revived old friendships and rekindled the old times. This reconciliation brought out a better person in us.

As what Ms. Saranillo said, "Everyone comes out as a new man/woman after the retreat." And I couldn't agree more.

Everyone felt special. Those days were all focused on us and God. We never focused on trying to prove trigonometric identities nor we never even thought about how to finish our English thesis. There was no cellphone nor Facebook that hinder us from destroying the wall that separatedeach one us. The two day journey enabled us to be closer to God, to confront our haunting past, to express our love to our families and to be one with the rest of the class. It was just about one class bounded with love, united with one God.

And as I conclude this blog, I must say that I feel very light. It's a spark contrast on how at the start of the year, I was very excited to enter college because I didn't feel appreciated in my 4th year home. But now, I am very, very, very proud to say that I <3>

One Magical Moment

2010-01-23T21:15:00.016+08:00

Magical moments do not just happen in fairy tales, mind you. They can happen to people who live in the real world, too you know.

As for me, I consider this

as one magical moment:

ACET!

I can never forget January 3 and January 9. These were the days when I felt anxiety and

helplessness. Hello, there were rumors circulating that ACET is out on Jan 3 and Jan 9. So, as an excited applicant, it is instinctive to rush my way to the Ateneo website to see my fate. 5 clicks on the refresh button of the Ateneo website and bam. The said rumors, were in fact, rumors. Way to go. What a nice way to prolong the agony.

Then came January 16, 2010. As I opened my eyes at 8 am, I got out of bed and went straight to my laptop. (Yes, without freshening up). As I opened my facebook, I saw one new photo that I was tagged in. It was a photo of a bond paper with names in it. Beside it is a group of words that says "Congratulations my bebes!"(Mendoza, 2010). I had a hint that I got in but I was half-awake so I had trouble absorbing it. Did I really get in? Ha? Really, I was semi-confused. I was like "What's happening?" I opened the photo and I quickly searched my name. The moment of truth came in...Mizon, Kevin Luke V.

Wait, Is that it? I got in Admu? What? I got in Admu?! I GOT IN ADMU!!!! And there I was. Jumping and jumping and jumping and jumping and jumping. And more ju

mping. I felt it. It was one magical moment.

The Launch Pad

2010-01-02T03:26:00.004+08:00

It's January 1, 2010.

New year.

New

decade.

New beginning.

A Better Kevin.

But let's reflect first. This is what my Jesuit mentors have taught me.

Allow me to give a wonderful capstone to a wonderful 09. Although it could have been much better, I'm pretty satisfied with it.

It was the year of sweetest victories. Winning as the president is way too cool. Breaking in a national debate tournament is way too satisfying. But the sweetest victory does not only pertain to battles won against other people but also to battles won against myself.

It was indeed a sweet victory when I triumphed over a poor life philosophy which propels me backward. Being a negative thinker that I am, I did not have the drive to actually be the best that I can be. Because of this, a lot of good packages in the form of friends, academic oppurtunities, and a happy life all passed away. I realized it was time to improve.

Right actions start with right ideas behind it. This is what you call a principle. Or a philosophy. Or even a perspective in life.Anyway, I learned that life is all about choices which define the path ahead of us. Happiness is a choice. Excellence is a choice. Even love is a choice. I always choose to make the right choices and ultimately, the best choice is to be my best self.

Moreover, I learned that the secret/the law of attraction (note: please research on this na lang) is the way to go! TRUST ME, IT WORKS.

Last principle (and the most important one) is that everything is for God. Just pray when youre in doubt. Even if you doubt him, just pray. All good things come from him. That's self-explanatory.

I am thankful to everyone who had a good influence on me this 2009.

God, the number one of all the number ones. I know my faith in you is always changing. There are times I believed in you but there are times that I question you. But one thing is constant: that i always go back to you. I love you as my source for everything.

Portia, the number one mom in the world. Beauty and brains. You never fail to fuel m

e up whenever I'm at a low point. You give all types of support- financially, emotionally, and the list is perpetually endless. Youre always there at my nadirs and zenith. I love you as my mother.

Karla, the number one sister in the world. The one who gives me tips and ideas on how to conquer life. The one who shows me cool stuff. Youre a role model. I love you as my sister.

FAB 5, the most fabulous group. Gea, Davin, Yana, Elly. High School will be way different if Ive been in a new group. All the laughter, all the good times and all the happiness gives color to my life. I love you as my barkada.

ASEC, the leaders in the school. Although the ride was a bumpy one,

Im proud of you. Im proud of all the creative ideas you give. Im proud of the patience and determination. Im proud of you! Continue to be great. Continue to lead. continue to serve. I love you as my motivators.

Katrina and the Debate People, the best debate partner (as of the moment) haha. It was a sweet victory to break. We gave our best speeches with the help of each other. And you helped me appreciate debate more. Continue shining. Youre the next world champion, im sure. Thank you and I love you as my partner.

Others, in one way or another, you have influenced me. You taught me simple life lessons that could make a difference!

I LOVE YOU ALL.

As I begin 2010, I begin with a better Vin. A Vin who has principles and who is lucky to have the best people around him. A Vin who is open to learning more. A Vin that is enriched by the past and is destined to propel forward in the future.